I will not talk to you unless you come to me and start a conversation. I'm not the kind of person who would start a conversation. I will shut my mouth if there is nothing I want to say. Sekian, terima kasih.

Friday, October 11, 2024

Six Months Pregnant. Papa , Your Love is Our Home!

 


Dear Blog (:

Salam 1 Malaysia


 


It has now been 6 months, and time has passed so quickly. I am beginning to feel tension and pain in my legs, especially in every  mornings. I can’t imagine or wonder how much more intense labor will be. Even now, I am facing this leg pain on my own. 


Ohh Allah, please grant me the strength to endure this journey. Show me the best path forward. Protect me during childbirth. If that moment comes and my life is in Your hands, please guide my children toward righteousness and raise them in the way that pleases You. Bestow upon them guidance and wisdom from You !


It is indeed challenging to navigate the process of divorce while I am pregnant. My heart feels heavy thinking about the impact on our children. Emotionally, only I and Allah truly understand the weight of this burden, constantly battling feelings that remind me as if my husband is still by my side.


Although we are still in the waiting period (Iddah) , I continue to hope that we can reconcile and become a happy family, as many others do. In the past year , I often felt sorrow for Noah, experiencing the loss of his mother and yearning for a complete family. Now, I find myself in this situation, particularly for my kids, who are just 1year old and the 1 still on the way. Only Allah knows how this story will unfold. I never imagined this would happen, and had my husband not involved a third party, our family might not be in this position


How can I tell  Zaini,  come to realize that the women around him are tests in his life? I urge him to return to where he truly belongs, caring for the family that has been entrusted to him. This world is not everlasting. Please come back to us. Along with our children, wish to guide you toward paradise together.


Please realize that we are the family you have created and promised thru Allah. Do not leave us divided . the children need us together, not living in 2 separate homes. Everything you desire has been granted by Allah without difficulty, such as children and sustenance. Do you wish to deny the blessings Allah has given you for the sake of a small trial in the form of a woman? I have reminded you time and again that status, wealth, and women are your TESTS. Step away from this trial. Awaken and return to your Creator. Do not allow Syaitan  to distract you in this world. 


Remember, the world, wealth, and riches you possess are only temporary. Do not let yourself regret this later. My hands, along with your children’s, are devoted to guiding you back to the path of Allah, the path of His pleasure. Rise up, my husband !


Whenever it rains or after we finish our prayers, I always invite Sophia to join me in praying for her father to realize what he is doing. His decision to divorce due to women and desires, along with his ego that prevents him from accepting human shortcomings, is a mistake. Life constantly presents us with tests. from these tests, we should learn to improve ourselves rather than approaching the same trials again. Let us bring ourselves back to our Creator, Allah.


Lastly, time is very short, there are only 3 months left until I am due to give birth. There has been no reflection from my husband indicating that he wishes to change and improve our family situation. I find myself in a dilemma. if he truly wants us to reunite as a family, he must abandon the sinful actions he has taken, such as engaging in relations with women who are not lawful, maintaining proper boundaries with other women, and being mindful of his speech when interacting with the opposite gender. He should appreciate the family that has always been by his side. Regardless of what happens, this is still your family. When your child is born on the expected date of January 29, 2025, my waiting period (Iddah) will end. At that point, my heart will accept whatever unfolds, even though it may be difficult to accept, I must continue to fulfill the trust that Allah has given me .


Ohh Allah, draw Zaini closer to You with sincere self-reflection. Grant him mental therapy that may come through the remembrance of You and spiritual connection. Instill in him feelings of empathy and humanity so that he may recognize his actions and make amends. As he grows older, let him remember that many women seek only status and wealth. Remind him of the difficult times he has faced and who has truly stood by him, aside from his children

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