Salam 1 Malaysia
Remember that you are responsible for your life, Diana. Allah choose you for you and you owe Him an explanation for everytime you hurt yourself, physically, and emotionally . You have to take FULL responsibility of yourself, who you are and who you are going to become . You have to treat yourself right. You pray because your soul needs it . You eat because your body needs it . Compromising on either one will eventually show you results you dont want to see. You have to become enough for yourself, and you cant be the one who BREAKS you . You have to keep fixing yourself instead . That is when you will learn to say Alhamdulillah and really praise Allah for life. That is when you are able to truly be grateful to him for His favours.
So then , sleep enough , eat sufficiently , wear good clothes and pamper yourself when you want . Dont become selfish , but dont become someone who has forgotten your own self either. Put the pills away, the blade where it belongs. Wipe away your own tears. Look in the mirror and notice the features that Allah choose for you , embrace them . Embrace who you are . Accept what you have been through and be proud of how far you have come . Broaden your thinking , read, study and understand. Be yourself completely. Work on who you want to become. Allah gave you your body as an AMANAH,
Please take care of it .